Wednesday, 21 September 2016

Questioning Motives

Have I mentioned that I lift weights on a regular basis? If not, I lift 5-6 mornings a week. I've noticed my strength (and weight) have increased and it's help my confidence. 

Monday was a leg day. If you lift or ask anyone one who lift, the least favourite day in the week is leg day. I felt fine afterwards and worked my other job that evening which meant that I skipped my evening yoga session. Tuesday I was tired from the working late but I was otherwise fine. Tuesday afternoon I was walking in my building and up the stairs to my apartment and I suddenly felt pain in my right knee. I wrote it off as tweeking it and favoured my left knee. Today it's still hurting but only doing stairs or bending over. 

While chatting with my male friend (who is a trained first responder) and mentioned my knee. After asking a few questions he told me he thought it was a tendon. He suggested I ice it and or take some Advil. After saying I wouldn't take any drugs because I don't believe in that unless I'm in agony. I tired to blow off icing but finally agreed to ice it. 

As I sit here with ice on my knee I got to thinking "is this the beginning of the control/ grooming process"? Sounds crazy, right? He is a medic and wanted me to take care of an injury and I worry that he's showing control issues. 

I know I have issues with men, specifically trusting (or lack there of). He's never given me a reason not to trust him. A reason to be pissed off at him yes but never a reason to think he's dishonest. He's challenging but not in a confrontational. I know I need to learn to trust men and slowly I think I am but it won't happen over night.

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