Friday, 16 September 2016

And the Building Comes Crawling Down

I took my dog for a walk yesterday morning, like I do every morning, the same route day in and day out; I am a creature of habit. This walk also includes a view of the building I lived in with him for nearly two years. I mentioned in a previous post that they had planned on tearing down the building from before the time we had moved in. This past winter I noticed that the building was vacant and being prepared to be torn down. For months I've been waiting for the building to finally come down. Well, that day arrived and on a day where my anxiety was high (-er than usual). I walked down the block and stood in front of the building. I immediately felt this peace and feeling of relief coming over me.
Tearing down building symbolizes an ending; him losing power over me. That building contained his place of power and control. That place protected him and failed to help me. He lost that place to abuse me and hide it behind closed doors.

I also got to thinking about the things in that apartment. He had written on the kitchen cupboards. He wrote gentlemen rules like a reminder for him to treat me better. Thing is, it wasn't a reminder for him to treat me better behind closed doors but rather a reminder for him to be able to reference them to others, to treat other women that way and appear to treat me that way when others were watching.

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